What is leadership anyway?

We tend to think there is life and there is work. That they are separate from one another. When it comes to leadership it is considered a language of the work place, a skill set to practice and acquire. The word "leadership" has become so sterile, almost trite. We go to work and we lead. Then we go home and we live our lives.

I wonder why that is. For most people, unfortunately, work is something to endure, to power through while looking forward to the long weekend, the fabulous vacation and eventually the (hopefully financially secured ) retirement when we can finally enjoy being free. Hence the fervent separation of the two worlds, and often without knowing, also the separation of the two selves.

At the heart of it, workplace is about people and relationships. And how we show up and behave and lead has, in fact, very little to do with the others and very much to do with ourselves. There are certainly skills to learn and master. We do need the knowledge and the ability to communicate and inspire and influence. Yet - how can we do that effectively without knowing who we are first? How can we possibly know how to relate to others without knowing how to relate to ourselves? How can we set boundaries without knowing what value we won't compromise? How can we manage our emotions and hence our actions without knowing what triggers them? Who can we inspire when we are shape shifting into different personas in the hope to fit in? How long can the practiced confidence last without feeling deep down that we are worthy?

We desperately want to learn the art of navigating politics in the workplace, for how complex and intricate it is. And that much is true. But, navigating the workplace, or any place for that matter, is, in truth, navigating our interior landscape.

Without the inner work, whatever skills we acquire will remain a façade. Whatever accomplishment we manage to achieve at work will just drive us further away from ourselves, while exhausting us in the process and leaving a dissatisfying void in its wake.

Like a tree that can’t grow big and tall without deep roots, we must root down before rising up. Because leadership is not a title we earn—it’s a reflection of who we are becoming. To rise up as leaders, we must first root down in self-worth, for true confidence isn’t found in external actions but in the deep knowing that you deserve your seat at the table. From there, your leadership becomes not just impactful but real—anchored, authentic, and whole.